You don’t have to do it alone.
Last week, I shared quite vulnerably on my blog about how I struggled after an unsuccessful (monetarily) launch. The response to my sharing was amazing. I received several messages thanking me for being honest and expressing the reality of being an online entrepreneur. It’s been really heartwarming to see the value that I offered by sharing my pain around the launch of Magnetic.
This week has continued to be a week of expansion and gentle, soul centred movement inside of my business.
I’ve launched an incredible new pop up yoga venture with a friend of mine (check it out at http://queencity.yoga) and I started up a new session of yoga classes in spaces that I’ve taught in for many many years. For many, going to their first yoga class is the catalyst that begins their journey to wholeness. I will always love walking into the first class of a session with an opportunity to connect a group of practitioners to their breath, their body and their soul.
A big reason why I wanted to begin coaching is because I was aware that many of my students have a deep desire for change in their lives.
I could clearly see the stagnant or stuck energy in their bodies but it seemed that given their time restraints and the limitations of a predominently physical practice - the changes they desired to experience through yoga took a very long time to arrive. Often, students would give up or stop coming because they weren’t getting the results they were looking for in a practice. Their bodies remained tightly wound and their mind patterns didn’t shift as quickly as they’d hope they would.
Yoga is a doorway into possibility. If you’ve ever practiced yoga, you’ll remember that feeling you had after your first class. It feels like you’ve just yawned from deep inside your soul. And, you go back because of that feeling. Life starts to get easier, and you feel better. Through those first few classes, we see that we have the capacity to change the way we feel through practice.
From my own experience - yoga was hugely transformational but it took a really really long time to make the big shifts that I desired to make. The shifts that allowed me to understand my true nature, and to feel the deeper sense of joy that remained untouched by my external stressors.
I am a comitted practitioner and teacher. I’m devoted to self study and practice, yet there was a time when I hit a wall.
I was mid way through leading a 200 hour teacher training, and trying to manage a small studio in a small rural community. I had reached a point where I no longer wanted to practice or teach because I was feeling like I wasn’t able to offer the transformation I had experienced through my own practice to my casually comitted students. They’d come back week after week with the same stiff bodies, the same complaints and the same desire to feel happier.
The transformation I was offering in class once a week was temporary - a mid week break from the stress and anxiety of their day to day lives and while it was good, they wanted more.
It was at this same time that I discovered Layla Martin’s YouTube channel and learned about a tool that has quite literally changed everything for me. It was the Jade Egg.
I signed up for Layla’s Jade Pleasure course and began to explore my relationship to sexuality, pleasure and desire. I began to understand myself through the lens of sexual wholeness and learned how to take care of the lack of passion I was feeling.
I felt renewed in my body, and my mind, I felt deeply orgasmic (in a way I had never felt before) and I began to love teaching yoga again. I decided at that point that I needed to bring the Tantric practices Layla was teaching into my own work to offer deeper transformation to my students and eventual clients, and began to look at options for training.
Of course, because the stars aligned with my own alignment - Layla soon announced the Sex, Love and Relationship Training program at her school, The Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality. I jumped on board (not even sure how I would pay for the course) and dove into the world of coaching.
Before I became a coach, I thought coaching was quite literally about having somoene tell you what to do in order to achieve your goals. Of course, now that I am a coach - I see a different relationship between coach and client that has brought a deep level of healing to me.
I’ve always done things on my own. I’ve openly expressed disliking partnership or collaboration and all of my self development work has been largely done on my own (aside from yoga instructors teaching me physical practices). As an entrepreneur, I’ve always worked alone as well. The thought of trying to manage my energy with a partner wasn’t even in the realm of possilibity.
Throughout the past year and 600+ hours of study and deep pleasure & breathwork practices, I can say that the single most challenging pain point in my life is beginning to heal.
I no longer feel like I have to do this alone. I can allow others to hold my vision alongside me. I can be coached and held as I continue my healing journey. I am also able to hold the vision of my clients while I guide them toward that vision skillfully and with complete trust in their ability to find their wholeness along the way.
I don’t coach by telling people what to do. I simply hold the container for their own genius to reveal itself and then I offer powerful mind/body & pleasure practices to stabilize the transformation we revealed during our session. The results we have only work as much as the client commits to the work we do together.
Unlike a yoga practice, coaching allows me to work deeply and quickly with my clients. Yoga, the way we tend to practice it in the west, is mostly concerned with the body which takes a long time and a consistent practice to see lasting holistic transformation.
With coaching, transformation can sometimes happen over the course of one session, and sometimes even just a 45 minute clarity call can offer insight and profound opportunity for healing. The continued journey of coach & coachee allows these rapid transformations to settle deep in their nervous system so that they are long lasting, even permanent changes.
The relationship between a coach and coachee isn’t about having someone external tell you how to heal because, I think we can all agree that there is already too much of this. Everywhere we turn there is a magical solution that we can buy that will heal all of our pain, and solve all of our problems.
Many of us (including myself) have self development fatigue. We think if we just buy this program, or do this thing that someone is selling us - we can be free, and we can be happy.
As a coach, I see this fatigue in people I speak to (and even in myself).
Coaching can certainly walk a fine line of being more self development work - but I believe with my whole heart that working with a coach can heal one of our most deep wounds. That wound is the belief that we are in it alone. That we can’t rely on someone else to hold our vision, to be our ally and to offer us unwaviering support on the way to our deepest longing and desires.
As I began to see that I could rely on the coaches and Mastermind sisters that I have worked with to hold my vision and my dreams while supporting me to uncover the deep wounds I have that are holding me back from my desires - I also realized that I could trust other people, and more specifically, other women.
My conditioning around trusting others began to shift. I’ve even started a business partnership with another woman and I see my pattern of distrust is dissolving, and my ability to allow others to support me is growing.
As I work with a partner in business, I am beginning to see the value of hiring a coach even more clearly. My Queen City Yoga business partner, Krista, is a left brain thinker and can organize my creativity in a way I could never do so for myself. She holds me accountable to my vision and her enthusiasm feeds my own. Our two minds working together creates so much more ease inside my mind.
I am realizing that I don’t have to do this alone. It feels incredibly freeing!
Coaches offer the same type of support for our clients. As a coach, I support my clients through identifying and integrating their subconcious (and often conscious) patterns that are holding them back from their desires. I see things that my clients might otherwise ignore, or not see for themselves. I hold my clients accountable to their desires and I continually let them know they are held and supported on the way to their goals.
You already have everything you need, and you don’t have to do this alone. I’m here for you.
Come for the yoga, stay for the coaching because the life you truly desire is possible and it’s time to go after it! .
Be sure to pop by the blog next Thursday as I continue this series about my business. My next post will cover why I choose to work with sexual energy as a coach and the week after that I’ll tell you what tools I use as a coach to support my clients to have their desires quickly and pleasurably.