I’ve been exploring my relationship with energy lately. Not just in the form of, “how do I find more?” but also in the form of trying to understand what depletes my energy, where do I feel it in my body, where do I notice that I’m stuck, how does my energy interact with the energy of others, how do I get unstuck?
As a highly intuitive person, who has strong energetic boundaries, I’m able to stay pretty consistently energetic and tend not to struggle with the highs and lows that a true empath would experience. Instead of taking on the emotions of the people I encounter, I am able to maintain an emotional distance while still being able to intuit their emotions accurately. When I’m clear and well practiced, this is a highly effective tool for supporting my students and clients. This is why a pre coaching or pre teaching ritual is valuable to my work - even if it’s just five minutes of quiet intention setting and opening myself up for intuition to flow through me freely.
As I’ve been exploring, I’ve been noticing lately is that my physical body is feeling off. I’m experiencing more awareness of stuck energy inside my body than I’ve felt in years. As I feel into why that might be happening, I started to look at my lifestyle for an explanation.
In January, I took a break from practicing yoga to pursue more traditional fitness while maintaining a breath and meditation practice. I worked out 3 times a week, and did very little stretching. My intention was to build strength for a more yang yoga practice, and to do something different with my body. Add to this, it was fun to change things up. Because I had limited time (perceived), I didn’t balance this practice with some yin style stretching. As a 10 year practitioner, this change in movement patterns had a HUGE impact on the way energy flows through my body!
I’ve also been in full on business building mode since October with very little time for stillness and ease in my life. Add to this, the intense and disappointing launch of Magnetic and how that impacted the flow of energy in my body. The biggest factor impacting the flow of energy in my body in relation to building my business is the amount of time I’ve spent sitting down working on a computer. I’d say that’s the hugest draw back of building an online empire! You’ve got to spend a lot of time online.
The symptoms I’ve been noticing in my body have been overall tightness… it feels like my suit of fascia is getting smaller. This is especially apparent at 4:30am as I return to my yoga practice again - my body is too small for the movements I want to make. It’s as though my mind has outgrown my body.
I’ve also been experiencing lower back + sacral iliac joint pain, and feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, and restlessness. I feel like my spirit wants to untangle itself from my body.
Muddled, distracted, foggy brained all describe how I’ve been feeling lately.
Is this modern living?
I suspect this is part of it, and it's the result of living inside our heads too much. As a yoga instructor turned online entrepreneur this switch to brain work over body work is a big shock to my nervous system. What I’m experiencing is a full on mutiny of my body.
Aside from the occasional dance break, building an online business is an experience that happens primarily inside my head staring at a computer screen. It’s the constant checking of smart phone messages, documenting my life in Instagram stories rather than being fully present for it. It’s a whole lot of mind based image crafting of a reality that exists for others to see on a smart phone screen.
I’m not willing to go down that path, anymore. It’s time to listen to my body!
I had a HUGE realization on Mother’s Day when my family surrendered our cell phones for the day. What I noticed, more than anything, was that we didn’t fight all day. We actually truly enjoyed each other’s company. I took photos with my camera instead of my smart phone and I didn’t document the day for anybody but us. We went outside, we walked, we talked, we were embodied!!! We lived like normal, present humans. And the best part of it all - the day was LONG. It felt twice as long!
Cell phone addiction, computer habits, constantly being in the experience of our thoughts instead of our bodies is a REAL problem for so many women (and men, and children) and we are feeling the impact of this at an energetic & spiritual level. It’s creating distraction that is not in service of our passion and purpose.
Adding movement patterns that are not based in embodiment practices (like traditional workouts where it’s more about getting through the “discomfort” than it is about feeling the sensations of the practice) further disconnects us to our capacity to be fully present inside of our bodies. Full presence inside our bodies is absolutely required in order to be able to relate authentically to the world around us.
It’s not just online entrepreneurs that experience this. Most humans in modern western culture are battling some form of disembodiment and disconnection from their experience of being fully alive. Our desire to connect to others has created a false sense of community through sharing our stories and experiences in the online space rather than in person.
Which begs the question… How do I (we) move forward?
My solution has been to wake up a bit earlier and dedicate the first two hours of my morning to embodiment practices, to make a point of not oversharing on social media, to limit my cell phone time and to make a point of creating more in person connection than online connection.
I’m also building offers that encourage you to do the same.
At the end of this month, I’m launching Queen City Yoga with my friend Krista. We’ll be offering pop up yoga experiences throughout Regina with the intention of bringing people together in community. Our vision is to foster genuine connection through practice while supporting a cohesive, cooperative yoga community in our city.
I’ve reopened my studio space in Indian Head offering holistic programming for those in my community. My desire is to bring people together in this space to grow, heal, transform and connect.
My online business will still be a big part of what I am creating, but I’m going to be closing all of my Facebook communities within the next few weeks. Instead, I will focus on offering coaching that builds an ecology of thriving and confidence in every client that I work with so that they feel empowered to build a supportive and loving community in the flesh rather than only in online spaces. I’ll also be offering more in person experiences, workshops, retreats, and VIP days.
My intention is to offer my own journey back to full presence, pure embodiment, and soulful expression as a path of healing for anyone feeling stuck in our modern smart phone, disembodied, disconnected world. I’m creating offerings that include tapping into how you most want to feel, moving your body in a mindful and meaningful way (yoga), awakening your sensuality and capacity to feel pleasure, and encouraging you to connect with other humans and the physical world around you more than you connect to the digital world.
I’m simply not interested in going down the path I see presented in front of me in the online coaching space.
It’s not for me. I think this is truly a part of what we’ve learned as Integrated Sexuality Coaches who have embodied the work that we offer - as so many of my colleagues are pushing the boundaries of what it means to have an online business.
We’re mavericks, rebels, and witches. We’re the Liam Gallaghers of the coaching industry. We know what we do is the deepest, most profound coaching work available in the industry.
We transform our clients, we awaken them to their deepest truth. It’s because of this that we also know the we can do things differently when we build our offerings.
I’m grateful for the deep awareness my body gives me whenever I tune in. I’m grateful for the tools, practices and colleagues that I’ve got surrounding me that allow me to take charge of my energetic body and make the changes necessary to feel fully alive again.
Now, I’m asking you….
Do you want to join me?
I’m starting with a super enticing Jade Egg offering over the next couple of weeks as I finish up my requirements for my Jade Egg Coach Certification. I’ll be offering 8 led classes via Zoom for anyone wanting to dive into this transformative embodiment practice. Details are located here.
I’ll also be announcing the details for my super badass Fire Starter Sessions VIP Day in the next few days. Ideal for anyone interested in a 1 day intensive to get clear on their passion project.
Finally, as I build out my premium coaching offering I am asking you what makes you feel deeply held and supported in your life? What nourishes your soul? What feeds your mind? What relaxes your nervous system? What excites your senses? Please feel free to add your thoughts to the comments or message me directly. I’d love to get on the phone and have a conversation with you about this, no strings attached, just me being curious about you.
This feels good. Recalibration. Energy restoration. Taking care of myself in a modern world.
This is the path of Tantra. It’s not about rejecting. It’s about recognizing. It’s about knowing that it’s all holy and that our path to liberation is THROUGH the body. It’s about relating to our world in a mindful, connected, embodied, and open hearted way. It’s about challenging our conditioning. Tantra has always been a tool for the age of decline we are currently living in, it’s called the Kali Yuga and it’s not changing anytime soon according to Indian philosophy. We can let the opportunities for living freely right now pass us by or we can start learning new, embodied strategies for living in the modern digital age, and teach them to our children so that we can ensure that our lives don’t pass us by while we stare at a screen.
Take a deep breath, go outside, drink a glass of water, eat a donut, hug someone, have sex.
Let’s do this. Together.