Do you ever find yourself saying this, “I wish I had more time for self-care, but even with good intentions I always find myself falling short"?
Time scarcity is a real thing. I know, because I struggle with it – ALMOST EVERY DAY!
I've got big dreams, I'm running a growing business, I've got three teenage daughters, I own and operate a yoga studio, provide support when my aging parents need help while also doing my best to keep my relationship vibrant and healthy. When 8pm arrives, I sit down on the couch with a cup of tea and am ready for Netflix and chill.... and now there's Disney? All hope of getting off that couch to meditate or practice is lost once I sit down.
The reality of my life is that if I haven't done a practice or workout by the time I sit down at the end of my day - it's not getting done.
So when I write these posts telling you to practice more, start breast massage, sign up for my free course - you're probably thinking, "but when??"
I hear ya. I've been there and I've figured out a few things along the way that help me ensure that there is space on my schedule to do the things that make me feel sexy, joyful, creative, and nourished.
I've come to learn that time is an interesting concept that can morph and change depending on how we view it. In her book, Fire Starter Sessions, Danielle Laporte describes this concept with two types of time: Tyrant Time + Power Time.
Tyrant time means that time is in control of you. When you’re controlled by Tyrant time you say things like, “I don’t have time” and it always feels like time is running out. You’ve probably tried every time management system under the sun and end up in the same place at the end of the week thinking, “where did the week go?”
Power time is a relationship with time that feels expansive, and like there’s always enough time. Instead of “there’s not enough time” we might say something like, “that’s not a priority right now” or “I’ll find the time”. There’s a different relationship with making choices in how we spend our time.
Kate Northrup teaches that time is cyclical – rather than always running out, it’s cycling. I’ve begun planning my weeks based on the cyclical idea of time and it’s made a huge difference for me – if I stick to what I’ve planned, I can usually get quite a lot done.
When I plan, I look for what’s happening in the cosmos, what’s happening in my body (what phase of my cycle am I in? What’s my energy like?) and what’s happening in my heart. There are times of the month I know are perfect for financial planning, and times that are perfect for teaching or launching a new product or idea. This has helped me realize that there is a season for everything and when I look at the big picture, everything gets done including self-care – just like it does in nature.
Today, if you’ve been meaning to start a new hobby, get into shape, meditate regularly, or make time for more self-care (especially the sensual kind) – I want to leave you with five great ways you can create more space in your days and plan your time in a way that feels expansive and empowered.
1. Whenever you feel like you don’t have time for something – take a moment to ask yourself these questions to gain more clarity on why you might feel like you don’t have enough time:
Can I make time for this?
Is it that I don’t have time, or is it that it’s not a priority?
Am I procrastinating because this thing is challenging me to grow or shift my identity in some way?
2. Track your menstrual cycle or the moon cycle in the absence of a menstrual cycle. You may also want to track your energy day to day overall. Over time you’ll notice some trends. You may find that a particular time of the month is perfect for tasks you tend to put off or ignore. Rather than scheduling them into a time where you’re likely to procrastinate or not do them – put them in where you’re more likely to follow through. This way you’ll be working more effectively with your energy and you’ll find that you waste far less time.
3. Track your screen time. Seriously. Go look right now. How many hours of screen time do you have on your phone today? Add that up over the space of a week, month, year and you’ll soon have GREAT motivation to keep your phone FAR away from your desk, bedroom, practice space, workout room or kitchen. Turn your phone off when you aren’t using it, and add time limits to screen time and apps if you’re struggling to maintain boundaries. The truth is that social media is addictive – you will get a dopamine boost for every comment, like, follow and that’s addictive. You will probably be uncomfortable as you shift this habit – but, I think it’s worthwhile!
4. Schedule in white space, extra time for transitions, time to practice or go outside, and keep your promise to yourself. At the start of the week, if I see a day where nobody has booked an appointment and I have no meetings, I’ll book that full day off and schedule in something creative and fun, or something that I tend to put at the bottom of the priority list. It feels really great to know that I’ve got a full day to focus on something fun for myself. If you’ve got a job or kids at home, I know that’s not as easy – but even finding small pockets of free time can create a massive shift in the way you experience your week!
5. Say “no” and cancel things! So important. Your time is VALUABLE! If you find yourself feeling resentful or frustrated about things on your calendar – make sure that you honour that your time is precious and gracefully say “no” or bow out. No explanation needed.
The truth is that in order to have time for the things we really want to do - we need to be intentional about creating the space in our life for them. The above 5 ideas are a great way to get started with being in control of time. Give them a try and then let me know how it went!
If you have any other suggestions for how to create more time in your day - head over to my Facebook group and join in the conversation! We'd love to have you! Click here to join!